In Big Bang's Dormitory

DISCLAIMER FOR ALL BIG BANG FANS WHO GOT LOST AND ACCIDENTALLY FOUND THEIR WAY HERE: This is a dream journal. This is not a fanfiction blog. Can I make it any more clear?

~oOo~

My Uncle was taking care of Big Bang -- sort of like a house dad for the boys. Because of this, I frequently go to their house to hang out. I was midly aware they were Big Bang and that they were popular, but I didn't feel like I was a fan. I was, however, close enough to call them by their first names.

I was there that day to watch TV with the boys. I was lying on the floor, at the foot of Youngbae's bed. He was lying beside me, his head almost touching mine. I felt I was closest to Youngbae -- most likely because he was nicest to me. I had this sense that I was also close to Daesung, but he wasn't there. He had a solo gig to attend to, while the other four boys while their day away.

I didn't talk much to Ji Yong and T.O.P.  Ji Yong was just plain snobbish, and T was just plain quiet. On the other hand, Seungri was just too distracted -- like he had ADHD. 

Youngbae was the right mix of everything. He talked to me in right succession and right time -- and we could share a peaceful silence without any awkwardness at all.

I stood up without saying anything and walked over to the bathroom. Youngbae tucked his legs in to give me space. He didn't want me to walk over him. I struggled with opening the bathroom door a little. With a nudge, I opened it, and almost fell down, I found Seungri sitting on the toilet. He tried to catch me without rising up from the toilet much. I apologized profusely and immediately closed the door.

I leaned on the closed bathroom door, more chagrined with Seungri trying to help me back on my feet while sitting on the toilet, than actually seeing him sitting on the toilent with his pants down. Instinctively, I looked at Youngbae. He was now sitting upright and using the bed's end as a back rest, and he was smirking. I laughed in embarassment, he laughed in amusement. 

T.O.P stood up from his bed, placed the book he was reading down, took his top off and went out of the room. In my mind, I thought, he was going to take a swim in the pool. Ji Yong shushed us and went back to whatever he was listening to in his headphones.

I went back to the foot of the bed and sat beside Youngbae. Now we were shoulder to shoulder. He tried to console me jokingly, as if the sight of Seungri in the toilet was something to mourn over. I tried to keep my laugh in, else we'd be shushed again -- or worst kicked out of the room. He put his arms around me casually, still joking about Seungri, then I felt him heat up to the closeness of our faces. He instantly took his arms off me and he looked away as he blushed.

We sat there quietly for almost a minute -- felt like hours -- before he stood up and grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room. 

[below this is rather TMI]

He just pulled me all the way to the other bathroom (it looked like gym bathroom with shower stalls and toilet stalls). But, I let go. Not because I didn't want to do what he was intending to do, but because, I was wearing a pad and needed to take it out before he sees it. No girl in the moment of intimacy would want the guy to see that. I was also making sure my period was over, for in my mind, the pad was just an assurance in cases of last few drops.

He went ahead of me to the shower stall, and I went into the toilet stall. I threw the pad away in the toilet, where I saw yesterday's pad opened and all red. 

As soon as I pulled my pants up, I ran to where Youngbae was.

And then, I woke up IRL, looked at my alarm clock and panicked as I was already 30minutes late for work.

Had I not had work, I would have went back to sleep and tried to find out what was supposed to happen in that shower stall.

[update: the following night, I dreamt of Arashi again, as if they were reminding me, I'm not allowed to dream of any other band or group of guys. Such possessive guys LOL]

A CM Shoot in SEA

This was a dream that occured a couple of weeks ago. So most of the details have degraded because I was too lazy to keep my writing table clear enough for me to work on.

I remember having to go to Malaysia (or was it Indonesia) for a commercial shoot. That commercial shoot had Ninomiya Kazunari and Sakurai Sho as its main celebrity endorser.  

I remember begging and bribing a man with US$1500 just to get me in the project, this on top of the money I had to spend on the trip. Chelli did the same, but she got it cheaper since she came from the Philippines and I came from California.

I remember riding a boat around the river as we went sight-seeing, waiting for the man and waiting for our assignments in that commercial shoot.

I remember watching the chaos of the production in the shadows, and hearing people call me AD (Assistant Director) as they prep the actors.

I remember seeing Chelli pull Sho-kun inside a bedroom (doors open), and making him practice the choreography for the shoot in front of a large dresser mirror. I watched Chelli giggle and laugh, flirting to the max. She was taking advantage of the fact that Sho was flirting back.

I remember Chelli teaching one thing and Sho doing another. Chelli said he should raise his arms out in front of him, but Sho stepped behind her and raised it forward from behind her. They started dancing, not so much of the choreography. Chelli said he should put his ass out like how she's doing it, and Sho started dry-humping the girl.

I remember Nino coming out of his green room in a suit. He was embarrased by what was happening over at Sho's corner, and he started apologizing in the man's behalf, as Sho and Chelli continued dry-humping.

I remember one of the wardrobe people calling out "AD-san!" and I came out of the shadows to answer the call.

I remember Nino's face, vividly, at that moment he saw me, AD-san. His mouth agape and his eyes fixed on me. He was gawking. I found it highly amusing, since I was supposed to be gawking at him. But I had to play it cool, because, in all technicality, I wasn't supposed to be there at all. Especially not as AD.

I remember Nino started fumbling with his words and slightly stutter as he continually apologized for Sho-kun in embarassment.

Then, I woke up. And all that I could think of was that stunt that Chelli pulled with Sho-kun in my dream.

I remember, there wasn't any dancing in the commercial script at all.

Interviewing Arashi

I was accompanying an older woman, and she brought me to a studio of sorts. There, we waited at a circular table for the people she's meeting.

Then Aiba Masaki came out, followed by Sakurai Sho. When Aiba the woman, he crossed his arms and stopped right before her, she was standing up by now. They talked in Japanese, and I could barely get what they were saying to each other. It was heated up that I'm sure of, and Aiba was getting angry as the woman continued pleading. From what I summise, the woman had interviewed Aiba before and offended him by what she wrote in the end.

A staff interrupted, and with his paper, confirmed instructions with the two idols. The two guys used this opportunity to ignore the pleading woman.

Seeing as it is my only chance, I poked Sho on his muscular eyes as widarms, twice, to get his attention. He turned to me with wide questoning eyes. I thought that the only way for him to grant me this interview is to talk to him in my most perfect American english, accent and all.  

I told him without falter, "Hi! I'm here to interview you for a Japanese-American newsprint in San Francisco. If it's alright with you?" Of course, I really wasn't, but continued to introduce myself, "Hajimemashita, Dekya [surname] desu. Oh, but, it should be [surname] Dekya, isn't it?" putting some American infliction in the accent.

Taken by surprise, he nodded. I handed him documents of my credentials and he sat down looking at them. I continued building myself up, "I am also correspondent for newssites in North America, South America in Chile, France, Spain ..." he just kept on nodding, "oh, and of course some countries in South East Asia as I am from there." I seem to be enumerating places I want to go to. 

As I wasn't even there to interview him, wasn't even aware that I was gonna see him, my notebook was devoid of questions. He grabbed it from me to see which questions aren't allowed and not. He looked at me full of doubt again, so I said quickly, "My interview style is more conversational than sticking to a set of questions. I come up with questions from the answers you give."

Oddly enough, he was satisfied with the excuse. Aiba was still behind him, ignoring the other woman. I took out my mobile phone which I use to record reports.

As I settled to start the interview, Ohmiya, arms wrapped around each other, came skipping in, followed by, I pressumed, their manager. Ninomiya Kazunari looked at me, Ohno Satoshi continued being oblivious. Nino lead Ohno to our table and stood right beside me, moving Ohno to his right side. Nino's hips touching my arms, and I thought he was doing it deliberately.

They started talking in Japanese, but this time I understood.

NINO: What is this (grabbing my documented credentials)

SHO: Interview for an American tabloid.

ME: Would you mind if I interview you as well?

NINO: Ok, 15 seconds.

ME: That's not even enough for a quickie. (all my seduction tendrills in full force)

NINO: (looks at me, still holding my credentials but with eyes flirting forcefully back) 15minutes.

SHO: (to me) Do you have time tomorrow?

ME: I was hoping I could finish this today so I might beat my deadline.

SHO: I trust that you can do it.

ME: My deadline's on Wednesday, I have little time left.

Sho looked at Nino who was still staring at me, and back at me. With that, we understood each other and I said, "I can do what interview we can have right now and return tomorrow for more."

~oOo~

Sadly, I woke up here and didn't get to find out how it went the following day. 

I don't need to analyse this do I?  And no, I don't know where MatsuJun was. And I didn't notice what happened to Ohno and Aiba once the exchange between Nino, Sho and I started. By the way, Sho and Aiba were wearing the pink AAA 2008 costume, while Nino and Ohno were in sweatpants.

Battle Royal Mystery Solving Dream

Last night, I dreamed of riding busses and Battle Royal in the air.

Mystery solving and a circus show, with idol angels performing on stage (blame Momoiro Clover on VSA).

I was just a spectator of Battle Royal, solving the mystery of who created this masacre.

The kids dare not touch me as I go about my business. They stop the killings while I'm in the room. My purpose was to solve the myster, so I go in and out of the rooms, the fields, every nook and cranny ... looking for evidence.

Then the bell rings (I blame Game of Thrones). Then each child still living, grabbed on to rocket looking things. I ran. I ran to hold on to one, and avoid the killings to get to one.

Then the rockets took off, and we were in the air. And even in the air, I witness the kids, with their hands tightly gripping the handles of the rockets, kicked and hit each other, trying to take the others out of the game.

We all land in the middle of an amusement park, the cheap ones, like that of a roving circus. On stage an Angel was singing. An idol in an all white lace costume and a cape that looked like wings. I ran up to the stage, as the kids continue their carnage in the ground.

I see the Angel idol finish her song. It was time for the next Angel to take the stage. I follow the Angel who left. I see her enter their waiting tent. I see beside it, the bus I'm to take to get away from here.

I jumped into the bus, sat down beside the driver and let him drive me off away from the circus.

~oOo~

Analysis to follow 

Jay in the Elevator

It was in same Ortigas I had been before. In a hotel/mall with weird elevator system, like it was from Willy Wonka's chocolate factory (the Tim Burton version) -- transparent/clear and goes sideways.

I rode the elevator. A man in drag, white dress with Lily print and red heels, pushed the buttons for me as I mentioned my destination. His name is Jay.

The elevator ran, like it was roller coaster ride. I held on tightly, as if I knew it was like that.

The elevator went through a tube filled with water, underground. I held my breath knowing we'll won't be able to breathe. But, I didn't close my eyes. I watched as Jay disintigrated in the water, trying to reach out to me for help.

Then as soon as the elevator came out of the water, we weren't wet. Jay was gone. And I was thinking to myself, "what did he do to deserve that?"

~oOo~

Analysis to follow

Catching Nino's Attention

My alarm goes off at 8am and I usually just hit it, sleep some more and wake up at 10. Because of this, most of my dreams are divided into two parts.

PART 1: THE HOTEL INCIDENT

We were in a bus, me and a few fangirls who I have not met before IRL, traveling along Southgate Ave. in Daly City. 

I can't remember exactly when was it Nino got on the bus, I only remember he sat beside me and asked me directions to his hotel. I gave him directions. As the bus turned left on Lake Merced Blvd. towards Westlake Shopping Center, I told him that this was his stop and he had to walk back Southgate Ave., crossing it and turn left towards his hotel (IRL, where the hotel stood, is the building where the banks and Kaiser Hearing Center are.)

He thanked me and got off as soon as the bus stopped and opened the doors. As he was getting off, I was reminding him of a few more instructions, to which I ended with, "ok, baby?" unconsciously (redundant, i unconsciously said something in my unvonsciuos state). 

The fangirls in the bus caught that little bemused statement. They started wooting and bantering, as I realized what I had just said. I looked back to the Nino's descending back. Before taking the last step off the bus, he stopped and shook his head with an amused smile on his face (this is the only part where it had a reverse shot from my perspective). 

I was red with embarassment, but it felt great saying it anyways.

CUT TO

In the place I was living in (a place I've never seen before -- some dormitory or shared house), a note came addressed to me. It was a piece of paper torn from a notebook or pad, with blue ink. 

It was a threat to me. It said that it was my fault that Nino had commited suicide in his hotel room and that all fangirls are out to get me. 

My housemates, all were also fangirls, were telling that we need to go to the hotel and do news research, verify the facts before we look for the girls who were trying to threaten me.

If Nino did commit suicide, then we'll prepare for the outraged women with their pitchforks and torches. If not, then we'll have to show them that we're not going to be bullied.

PART 2: SUMMER HOLIDAY STUDENTS

In a shared house (different than that of Part 1), Nino and I lived as students. Separate bedrooms, sadly. We do share one study hall and living room, and the computers are in the study hall. 

I was cramming a paper. Or was I cramming HIS paper because he was slightly ill and I was the one tending to him.

Although, this dream, came later than the first one, I can't remember clearly as of writing. I only remember general feelings of anxiety, anticipation, deep love and frustration. 

I was trying so hard to do everything for him, waiting for a bone for him to toss my way -- even if it was just a simple thank you. I wanted him to appreciate me and I wanted him to like me just as much as I like him. 

But, his reactions were confusing. I couldn't be sure if he likes me or he's just fond of the attention I was giving him.

It felt like he was Uno once more. I hate the feeling, most of all.

~oOo~

Analysis to follow

My Lesbian Affair with MatsuJun

This is the first time I'm actually fooling around with another member of Arashi, other than Nino, in my dream. I feel like i'm cheating. However, I should mention it here that in this dream, MatsuJun is a woman like me, with A-cup boobs and the softest lips.

On to the dream ...

We were in a king sized bed beside the door. There were three of us on the bed. MatsuJun and I were cuddled up by the wall. B, a friend of mine who had no interest whatsoever in Jun, was beside us, ignoring the familiar flirting of a couple in the early stages of a relationship.

The cuddling and the flirting  progressed to full on make-out, to petting to the initial act of foreplay. In which we were interrupted by a couple of bold, overweight, otaku-nerds. They started wooting and whistling and proding us to go further, because it was hot to watch two girls do it.


So, we stopped. And fell asleep soon as the men left.


When we woke up, we were alone in bed. B, had moved to the smaller bed to the other side of the wall. Relieved that we were somewhat alone, I started caressing MatsuJun, and pulling up her shirt. She did the same thing, pulled me on top of her and started suckling my right breast. We were in the heat of things when we noticed that B had moved beside us again. She wasn't watching, but, she was pretending to be asleep facing us.


It killed the heat. I got off of her and laid my head on her arms. MatsuJun said it was ok and that we'll continue later when B was gone.


B pretended to wake up and gave her greetings. B, then, reminded MatsuJun that they were going to see Lolo Ohno (yes, that's what I heard B say) and that they had to hurry and get ready. Surprised and pissed off, I looked at Jun. She told me to keep calm and expect to have her tonight without interruption all the way.


I left to dress up and attend to my own business.


CUT TO


I was moderating an event. Screening of a game -- very much like Zelda -- turned live action film. That's why there was a lot of otaku around.


CUT TO


I needed to use the bathroom for no. 2. When I got to the theater bathroom, someone did not flush. And when I tried to flush, it overflowed. All the shit on the floor, I tried to clean it up. I didn't wan't my event to look bad just because there was a malfunction in the venue's only toilet rendering the bathroom littered with shit.


I was using a handheld-pail (tabo) to push the shits to the drain with water.  One of them, surprisingly, evolved everytime it hit the water. From literal crap, to sandwhich to mousse, to cake to a really huge cake. A Japanese comedian, a guest in the event, caught me cleaning up and told me, that the evolving crap was his invention. I complimented him for the ingenuity of his creation and the impressive way it evolves.


CUT TO


I was looking at available business. ICS was with me, looking it over, too. There were three options. But we focused on the Bakery and the bread  machine. For $/PhP6,000 (I can't remember the currency), the bread machine was the most sound for ICS. I wouldn't need any other employee, nor would I need a to spend too much time tending to it. I can even go have a different job, too. ICS told me, if I chose that, he'll help me with the initial payment.


So, I took it and brought it to a small grocery (very much like where I work right now). The bread machine only sells dinner rolls of three sizes for now, packs of 6, packs of 10 and packs of 20. The bags or packs were the same sizes, but as the number of dinner rolls increase, the size of the rolls decrease.


A woman asked me if I had a loaf of bread. I apologized and explained that the machine only makes bread rolls and that maybe in the future we will have loaves and other kind of bread.


END

~oOo~

Analysis to follow

Laruku Concert

I rarely dream of HYDE. I don't even remember dreaming of him before. But, this is one awesome dream that I wished was real.

On to the dream

I came in late to the L'arc~en~Ciel concert. It was my first. Even though, I only got to see the last three songs, I was extremely happy.

When it ended, the band got off stage and walked at the edge of the audience (it was a small venue) to their green room. Like any other fan in the audience, I tried to get their attention. Being as complicated as I think, I used the poster I was holding as a drum stick and pretended not to be too excited and hit some beat using the poster and the chair.

Somehow, how unlikely it ever seemed, it worked. HYDE looked at me and approached me. He pointed at me, while TETSU stood behind him smiling, albeit slightly sinister.

Then they left. All girls in the audience looked at me, some were angry, some were envious, some were even crying. A staff came up to me and lead me inside the stadium's inner bowels and into their green room.

HYDE pushed a plate of food in my hand and told me to eat. As I took some more food from the buffet spread before me, HYDE explained that I have been chosen to do something for them in their next concert.

But, then I woke up, and I never knew what was I supposed to do in their next concert.

~oOo~

Analysis to follow

Zombie VS Alien Apocalypse

I was supposed to have only a 30-minute nap, but had set the alarm for 7:30 AM instead of PM. *facepalm*

On with the dream.

I was a young boy of 12 on the run in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. Alone, I hide in the shadows, to avoid the zombies, and to survive. I have a natural gift of knowing who has been infected before they turn into zombies. (These zombies don't die first, they just keep on living, decaying and lose their mind in the process of the turn).

While avoiding some zombies, I find a group of girls holding a fort of their own. As a party went out to make their rounds from their garage, I ran into their fort before the electronic door came closing down. It was a condominium garage. I saw cars, mostly pick-up trucks and a lot of tools. One girl was left clearing up the tools she used to upgrade their cars.

I follow her in the elevator, hoping she wouldn't ask who I was and just assume that I was part of their small community against zombies. But, when she looked at me, she knew I was a survivor out there. She welcomed me, and brought me up to her unit.

She offered me food, a warm bath and clean clothes. She told me stories as she sorted clothes that I could use. I watch her roommate go in and out of the place. A flash of memory projected in my head. I have been in this unit before, and with her, too. In that memory, I was with an older woman, someone we were both related with. Like a mother figure. Whether she remembers me or not, I never asked.

As the time moved and she continued to tell stories, she exhibited signs that she has the zombie affliction. She wasn't aware though, or if she was, she hid it very well. But, not to me.

I excused myself and entered the bathroom with the clothes I took off. I planned to put my clothes back on when I get out of the building. I escaped through the bathroom window. It wasn't too high, and there was a container of sorts right beside the ledge I could reach by jumping down. I carefully walked along the ledge to its end. The lady from the condominium looked out of her bathroom window and pleaded I come back, that it was safer inside the building than the zombie infested streets. I gave her a last look and jumped.

CUT TO

I'm now part of a motley crew kind of group that has the zombie apocalypse resolved. There were still zombies out there, but a bigger problem has shown itself in light. ALIENS.

Aliens were the root cause of the zombie apocalypse. So, our group hunted down these aliens, in the midst of battling the zombies that still ran rampant in the streets. Each alien had their own weakness.

There was an old man, the watcher of our group, the one with the all the knowledge that we need. The lady in the condominium was there, her zombie infliction contained for the moment. A young girl, the same age as me and younger boy. It seemed like we had more members, but for the moment, they were out on a mission.

A pressing matter came to our attention. A couple of aliens were coming our way and we needed to get rid of them. And the only thing we needed for this particular aliens were NUTMEG spice.

We grabbed a couple of spice bottles of nutmeg, the zombie woman and I. We armed the other children, while the old man was working on a plan.

CUT TO

We were able to intercept the alien couple's car, found them seated in the back with a lone zombie driver as their entourage. We killed the zombie. We studied the aliens. One male, one female. Both looked human with creepy faces.

With complete arrogance, the alien couple looked at us, a smug smile on their lips. Without uttering a word, we knew it was a threat, we knew  they meant that they were dispensable, and that more were coming or have already come.

I splashed the nutmeg on the male. The zombie lady splashed another bottle on the other. They disintegrated. They did not scream, cry or showed any form of pain, as if they are completely fulfilled by the death we had inflicted upon them.

END OF DREAM

I should have a tag for *cinematic game-perspective* OR I'm in need of a new game that my brain is making one for me.

*analysis to follow*

Sulu Whirlpool

It's in a place where I had been before in one of my dreaming lives, but have never been in real life; the place with lots of interconnecting malls and a very confusing light rail train; an alternate Philippines.


A competition was being held. And my ex, Squal, was entering a song he had written in collaboration with Chiaki Kuriyama.  But he had forgotten his music sheet in Sulu.


And so I took the fastest route to Sulu, through the Whirlpool I once took in another dream to Palawan.


(got distracted and wasn't able to finish writing this. so the dream memory has faded a bit and i can only write of what i remember)


Although, I was supposed to go to Sulu, I went to Palawan, where there were boats that ferried people to Sulu. I took a boat just to get that music sheet, and in the trip, a couple of guys from the island tried to pick me up. I liked the attention. 


I spent a night in Sulu, and got back to the competition in the city just in time, with only a minute to spare. 


I found Squal in the waiting room, sitting beside Uno. I delivered the music sheet and then sat on Squal's lap while looking at Uno and watching how he'd react.


I saw discomfort in his eyes. But, one could also interpret it as disgust.


(From here on, I can't remember anything else except going back to the beach and the amusement park I once went to)


*analysis to follow*

Powerhouse Nap

Obviously, to most Arashi fans, it's about Nino again.

I wasn't feeling well when I got home from work today. So, without taking off my make-up and without even dressing down to house clothes, I snuggled under my comforter and took a 20minute power nap. Sadly, my brain ignored the 20minute alarm and seven hours later, I've completed a ful REM cycle.

I remember having so many dream sequences. But, as a lot of people know, only that which concerns Nino remained in my awakened head.

In my dream, I was supposed to look like Nino, parading as his decoy and slightly flirting with Becky (yes, Aiba's Becky, Tarento Becky, Becky we all love and adore). Becky thinking she was spending her time with Nino, all these time, fell in love with me and was expecting more.

Until, Nino came in and revealed that I was really his lover and wife. Becky looked at me with tearful eyes. I tried to explain to Becky that even though I'm a girl, and married to Nino, I seriously like her and would have her as my wife as well (I know, it's become surreal from here on). If it's really Nino she wants, and not a girl like me, then I'm fine sharing Nino, too. I told her, I never meant to hurt her.

Becky ran away sobbing. I was about to chase after her when Nino pushed me back down to where I was sitting. He told me to let her go, that if Becky really wants one of us, she'll have to deal to accepting both of us.

Then Nino gave me the most torrid kiss, yet. It was so torrid and hot that I came even before Nino took off his pants. I'm keeping what happened afterwards to myself. Though, I've detailed other Nino dream exploits far more elaborately before, I just can't with this one.

~oOo~

On to the meaning...

Being a decoy myself means I'm trying to be someone I am not. I'm wondering which part of myself right now am I not being myself?

As for that orgasm, maybe I just need one. but I hope, that I'm gonna have a blast finishing a project soon.

Crossings and Decisions

A friend asked me to interpret her dream for her on Plurk. When she told it to me, it was long and had too much symbols that it was almost impossible for me to respond through Plurk.  With her permission, I have posted it here instead, along with the interpretation. 

Of course, I do not claim accuracy in my interpretation. I'm neither schooled or trained in psychology, or dream interpretation. I just have a fondness of interpreting my own vivid dreams and nightmares that made me a little bit more knowledgeable than the average kid. Eventually, friends learned that I can do this sort of thing and have sought advice from me about dreams that have bothered or sparked an interest in them. Friend A from Arashi fandom sent me this message:

A  I was going home from...somewhere, I don't know where. I was in the overpass near our house when I saw Jun first.

A  I asked him "Hey, you're going home already?" and he just gave me a smile. Then he went down one flight of stairs. (In reality that set of

A   stairs doesn't exist in the overpass.)

A  And when I was about to go down the flight of stairs that does exist in our overpass, it was...different.

A  there were two flights of stairs that seemed parallel to each other. One was narrower, only one person can pass through it at a time.

A  I took that set of stairs, but halfway through there was a fork. One led to a slide and the other was more like a ladder instead of stairs.

A  I'm not sure if I saw a child or children go up through that ladder, but either way I chose to go back up where I came from and go back down

A   through the other, wider set of stairs.

A  I decided to change my route walking home a bit. One block before my house, I saw Matsujun curled up on the street, as if he was sleeping.

A   when I got closer, I (actually dared) to feel his arm and I felt he was shivering.

A  I think I tried calling up my dad, but more importantly I hugged Matsujun, hoping he'd wake up and feel better.

A  after a while, his shivering seemed to subside and he finally opened his eyes.

A   I helped him up and helped him walk to our house. I had to support his weight a bit because he still couldn't walk properly.

A   when we got home, i let him sit on our couch. Mom asked him in English "Do you want to eat anything?" and I was all "Mama, he can't speak

A   English." Jun just smiled.

A   /end dream

A   some points to consider din: i was reading a Junba fic before I slept, but none of the scenarios i described was in that fic.

HighPriestessDeksays give me the first 5 words you think of when you hear matsujun, no cheating, go!

A  diva, gwapo, hard-worker, masungit, short-haired

THE KEY-SYMBOLS AND MEANIGN: 

Overpass is a structure meant for crossing roads without the danger of getting run over by moving vehicles.  While it is technically NOT crossing a road, the point of an overpass is to get a person to the other side. What does the other side usually hold for us? It depends on each person, and it greatly depends on what one does on "the other side."

At the end of an overpass, one would need to go down to get back to the road. Going down stairs, can mean a visit to the subconscious or one is experiencing setbacks in life.

A was given an option of two stairs, a narrow and a wide one. She took the narrow one first. I know A is slightly religious, and being religious a narrow path can mean hardships with great rewards. A wider path has been socially accepted as an easier path, that, or a more liberating path.

A chose the narrow path at first, subconsciously, this straight and narrow concept is imprinted in Filipino children's minds from birth to forever. In that narrow path, she came across a fork -- which in every form of rhetoric, is a decision one has to make. One leads to a slide and the other to a ladder (children are irrelevant, since she can't remember). A slide means a sense of lost of control. While, a ladder means a way to a higher status or promotion (again with the concept of straight and narrow = rewards). We can see that to A, losing control is the other option to promotions; it's one or the other. (personally, i've always thought losing control comes WITH promotions, that's why one needs great confidence in leading).

A turned back, she wasn't ready for this. She took the wider path, lesser responsibility, more freedom in life. 

And then it was followed by the whole story about Matsumoto Jun.

MY INTERPRETATION: 

Obviously, A's fear of losing control is greater than her desire to achieve greatness. Obviously, she's not scared of the responsibility, as she went through it twice, progressing and regressing. Taking the wider path is a temporary fix.

As for the scene with MatsuJun, it is merely her repressed emotion rampantly showing itself in her subconscious. Hugging, does mean, repressed emotion in itself.

Someone, give this girl a boyfriend!