In Big Bang's Dormitory

DISCLAIMER FOR ALL BIG BANG FANS WHO GOT LOST AND ACCIDENTALLY FOUND THEIR WAY HERE: This is a dream journal. This is not a fanfiction blog. Can I make it any more clear?

~oOo~

My Uncle was taking care of Big Bang -- sort of like a house dad for the boys. Because of this, I frequently go to their house to hang out. I was midly aware they were Big Bang and that they were popular, but I didn't feel like I was a fan. I was, however, close enough to call them by their first names.

I was there that day to watch TV with the boys. I was lying on the floor, at the foot of Youngbae's bed. He was lying beside me, his head almost touching mine. I felt I was closest to Youngbae -- most likely because he was nicest to me. I had this sense that I was also close to Daesung, but he wasn't there. He had a solo gig to attend to, while the other four boys while their day away.

I didn't talk much to Ji Yong and T.O.P.  Ji Yong was just plain snobbish, and T was just plain quiet. On the other hand, Seungri was just too distracted -- like he had ADHD. 

Youngbae was the right mix of everything. He talked to me in right succession and right time -- and we could share a peaceful silence without any awkwardness at all.

I stood up without saying anything and walked over to the bathroom. Youngbae tucked his legs in to give me space. He didn't want me to walk over him. I struggled with opening the bathroom door a little. With a nudge, I opened it, and almost fell down, I found Seungri sitting on the toilet. He tried to catch me without rising up from the toilet much. I apologized profusely and immediately closed the door.

I leaned on the closed bathroom door, more chagrined with Seungri trying to help me back on my feet while sitting on the toilet, than actually seeing him sitting on the toilent with his pants down. Instinctively, I looked at Youngbae. He was now sitting upright and using the bed's end as a back rest, and he was smirking. I laughed in embarassment, he laughed in amusement. 

T.O.P stood up from his bed, placed the book he was reading down, took his top off and went out of the room. In my mind, I thought, he was going to take a swim in the pool. Ji Yong shushed us and went back to whatever he was listening to in his headphones.

I went back to the foot of the bed and sat beside Youngbae. Now we were shoulder to shoulder. He tried to console me jokingly, as if the sight of Seungri in the toilet was something to mourn over. I tried to keep my laugh in, else we'd be shushed again -- or worst kicked out of the room. He put his arms around me casually, still joking about Seungri, then I felt him heat up to the closeness of our faces. He instantly took his arms off me and he looked away as he blushed.

We sat there quietly for almost a minute -- felt like hours -- before he stood up and grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room. 

[below this is rather TMI]

He just pulled me all the way to the other bathroom (it looked like gym bathroom with shower stalls and toilet stalls). But, I let go. Not because I didn't want to do what he was intending to do, but because, I was wearing a pad and needed to take it out before he sees it. No girl in the moment of intimacy would want the guy to see that. I was also making sure my period was over, for in my mind, the pad was just an assurance in cases of last few drops.

He went ahead of me to the shower stall, and I went into the toilet stall. I threw the pad away in the toilet, where I saw yesterday's pad opened and all red. 

As soon as I pulled my pants up, I ran to where Youngbae was.

And then, I woke up IRL, looked at my alarm clock and panicked as I was already 30minutes late for work.

Had I not had work, I would have went back to sleep and tried to find out what was supposed to happen in that shower stall.

[update: the following night, I dreamt of Arashi again, as if they were reminding me, I'm not allowed to dream of any other band or group of guys. Such possessive guys LOL]

Nino Again

This is fast becoming a Nino Dream Blog.

But It's not.

BUT THIS IS A NINO DREAM ENTRY.

-oOo-

I am locked in my dark room, curled up in a ball on my bed, watching a TV show. Haven't taken a bath, haven't even brushed my teeth. Haven't even washed my face .

The door cracks open, a small amount of light comes in. I hear footsteps approach me, but I don't even raise my head to look at who came in.

Then I feel his hair fall on my cheeks as he planted a kiss on my temple. I hear his bag drop with a thud. His head moves to my neck, I feel his warm breath on it. He doesn't kiss. He just stays bent over his nose and mouth on my neck.

After a few seconds, he pushes my body to give him space on the bed. He lies down and spoons me, his right arm wraps around my waist and clutches me tighter to him. With his left hand, he turns my face to him and he kisses me on my mouth, strong and hard. I feel his tongue. I feel him sucking me.

I face him and and push him down the bed, pull his shirt over his head. I plant small kisses on his tiny frame. In my head, I think, only I can see that the one-pack is fake.

He pulls me up to him in an effort to kiss me again. But, then, I remember that I haven't brushed my teeth and I got embarrassed. I apologize to him and say I'll brush my teeth first. And he says in Japanese, "Nevermind that. I'm hard already."

In half obedience, I go down again, try to take off his pants. Halfway of pulling down his pants, he let out a sigh. He is no longer in the mood. And he says in English, "Why did you even have to bring that up."

I lick his nipple to turn him on again, but he pushes me away and says it won't work. He asks me, "Why do you have to be like this? Why can't you give me all of you?"

I start crying. I stroke his legs, feeling his leg hair, begging him to give me time to adjust. "I'm trying. It's been so long since I was in a relationship, and they were all failures. I don't know how to do this, but I'm trying. I swear."

He doesn't respond for awhile. He just lays there, with his pants half down, his boxers showing.

I let him go. And curl up at the foot of the bed, crying.

"I just need you to give yourself to me," was the last I heard.

________________________________________________

I woke up with that line ringing in my head. Despite the fact that I was crying really hard in my dream, I was a happy happy camper when I woke up.

And who wouldn't be?

Should I even analyze this dream? In the end, it'll just come out as a reflection on my fear of moving.

Related articles

• Nino, My Sweet Detective Lover (highpriestessdek.blogspot.com)
• Nino's Goodbye Girl (highpriestessdek.blogspot.com)
• Nino and his Butai (highpriestessdek.blogspot.com)
• Boarding House (highpriestessdek.blogspot.com)
• MOTEL -- Nino (Part 1/2) (highpriestessdek.blogspot.com)

Monster Husband and his 6-Year-Old Nth Wife

Because we're leaving, there were always some food to pack, to bring along to the travel.

I was married, to this head honcho. He's gorgeous. But, he's also a monster. A literal one.

He may have married me, but he married several other wives, too. The most recent of whom, is a 6 year old child. Or so I thought. I was angry, a little jealous of the girl, and worried of the frailness of that body.

On her first night, while she occupies the main bed, I stay in the lower bed and wait for my husband to disappear into the night. I was deadset on protecting the girl, even if I have to be punished for it. I jump to the other bed, ready to hush the little girl in case she cries at the sight of the monster. The monster husband doesn't like crying little girls. He devours them, like all mosters do.

When the husband came back from his monster form to mist to his gorgeous naked human form, I covered the girl with my body. But, he was stronger and he just pulled me away from her with one hand. However small his package was, he was still strong and powerful.

I offered myself so that he wouldn't have to touch her. But, he still did. Then the little girl threw up. The monster husband told me to clean her up, and the bed afterwards. I asked her what was wrong, and he answered for her. She's pregnant, he said. That can't be, was my only response, to which he answer, she's old enough.

It was the first time I heard the child speak. She said to me, it's ok, my body can take it.

I carried her to the bathroom, cleaned her up with the help of another wife. Third wife, if I remember correctly. All throughout while I was giving her a bath, I was thinking of how to take this child away from the monster husband.

And then, there were more food packings to be done.

_______________________________________________________

These are new concepts to me and so I had to look them all up.

Packing food, hoarding for the trip means, I'm scared of this SG trip I'm embarking on. I'm insecure because I don't have enough money and I'm at a lost how I'll get through.

When I looked at the monster husband, I see a naked form, but I wasn't aroused. My thoughts were still on the child and how to protect her. I didn't care about him. So when I looked this up, they say it meant that I needed to learn how to be not afraid of rejection. Last night, I had a moment when I felt I was rejected. I guess, my unconscious is telling me to end this insecurity.

Seeing someone vomit means someone is taking advantage of me and lying about it. But, I have not had any interaction with a lot of people late. I am only surrounded by most trusted ones.

Saving a child means saving myself. What am I trying to save myself from? What or who is this monster husband?

Taguig Ho House

Taguig house is my grandfather's house. However, in this dream It was MS & IS's house where they let me stay for free in exchange for my services, I even have my own room. What kind of services? At first I thought it was just being a servant of sort, house cleaning, house sitting.

The Taguig house kind of looks different, however, in my dream's memory, it's the same house. Across the hall from my room, Squal stays, along with the other guys.

I was a little randy and seeing Squal there, I thought, hey maybe I can get some from him. It's a bad idea, being my ex, and I didn't want to stir up old feelings and confusion, when all I needed was sex.

After a few getting away from chores he was doing, I was able to pull him inside my room. He happily obliged -- a little smug, too. At first, I started small talk. I asked him why JPM moved out of this house long before I even thought of moving in. He pulled me to sit on his lap, I started kissing him, and in between kisses he answered me. "He can't handle the job here," he said, "No one's forcing us, but in the end, it's much easier that way."

And I understood immediately, we offer sexual services and we have our own rooms for that purpose.

I woke up and I find nobody else in my bed. So I went out of my room and find that the whole house was having a general clean up. I called out to Squal and asked him to explain some things to me. I couldn't remember what happened, did something happen between us or not? Apparently, I blacked out.

Before he could stand up and approach me, NY grabbed my arms and pulled me to the side, asking me, "Where those cats I heard last night, or somebody finally getting some?" A flash of memory of last night's tryst came to me. It looked wild.

I blushed. Not because I'm ashamed of what I did, but more because I was embarrassed for being noisy.

I felt Squal's strong hands pulling me away from Nick. He was a little peeved. I couldn't understand why he was peeved. He dragged me down the stairs and out to the front door. Before we could exit, we find a room's door ajar and there one of our supposed housemates were giving a Chinese-mestiza woman a service. And the woman is obviously very happy about it.

We went out and Squal explained to me that I blacked out. But before he could say anything else, I went back in the house, curious of the quick clean up and the ongoing service. When I went in, IdlC and her husband were already cleaning up after our fellow member who had walked the woman to her car. Semen were all over the pillows. IdlC was nagging.

And the realization hit me. It's true. Question now is, should I stay or should I go?

___________________________________________________________

Squal was an amalgam of Squal and Nino. He has Squal's face, but his demeanor was so Nino. Upon waking up, I was a bit confused as to who really was in my dream. The hair was very Nino, though, as well as the smug face. The suave actions he also did is so not Squal -- like the way he pulled me to him and the way he grabbed my arm.

Apparently, sex with an ex in dreams mean embarking on a new situation. Once again, the immigration thing comes up, I guess.

We learn something new everyday. Or in this case, every night.

MOTEL -- Nino (Part 1/2)

Anything before Nino I had already forgotten. You'd know why...
________________________________________________________________

I was waiting at a motel. Not the Philippine-kind, but more like the ones we see in Supernatural. In my mind, I was waiting for Duds. But I also knew Nino was coming.

Bored of waiting alone, I decided to take a shower. As I turned the knob of the shower, a few sprinkles hit my head, I heard him singing outside the motel. The microsecond that it took made me turn off the shower. Wrapped in a towel, I quietly opened the bathroom door and peeked out through the window beside the door.

Nino was there, in a white polo shirt, eating a hot dog sandwich on top of a park table, his on the bench meant for the table. He was wearing a white polo shirt. I watched him finish his hot dog sandwhich. He was mumbling his song through out. All through out this, I felt I was so in love with this guy.

After he swallowed the last bite, he made his way to my motel's door. I rushed back to hide in the bathroom. I heard him call out my name. I answered, "I'm sorry, I'm still not done taking a bath." Truth was, I haven't even started. I opened the bathroom door a little, to take a peek at what he was doing and show him my wet head.

He was taking off his shirt, and as soon as he saw the door open, he forced his way in. Under the shower -- as zuruikoi of LJ infamously puts it -- he stuck it in.
_________________________________________________________________

I woke up with a pain in my lower abdomen. The kind of pain you get when you didn't finish doing the deed or got cut off before you came. That kind of pissed me off. My cellphone's alarm woke me up.

I could not remember which song Nino was mumbling through his hot dog sandwich. But, that I assume was caused by the MP3 player I left playing on a loop -- Arashi solo songs folder. A similar thing happened in part 2.

Distinct things: Nino's white polo, my green towel (that also makes an appearance in part 2), the bathroom door and it's lock (it's aluminum with a simple lock -- like those you see in cheap Philippine public toilet) and that hot dog sandwhich. The bathroom was really big. It felt like I was in a hentai movie, where the bathroom was supposed to be small but it grows as you zoom out.

There's notthing much to explain in this part. It is so Freudian, it's so obvious.

Should I mention, in my dream memory, we're supposedly married?

My Nino dream has escalated once again.