In Big Bang's Dormitory

DISCLAIMER FOR ALL BIG BANG FANS WHO GOT LOST AND ACCIDENTALLY FOUND THEIR WAY HERE: This is a dream journal. This is not a fanfiction blog. Can I make it any more clear?

~oOo~

My Uncle was taking care of Big Bang -- sort of like a house dad for the boys. Because of this, I frequently go to their house to hang out. I was midly aware they were Big Bang and that they were popular, but I didn't feel like I was a fan. I was, however, close enough to call them by their first names.

I was there that day to watch TV with the boys. I was lying on the floor, at the foot of Youngbae's bed. He was lying beside me, his head almost touching mine. I felt I was closest to Youngbae -- most likely because he was nicest to me. I had this sense that I was also close to Daesung, but he wasn't there. He had a solo gig to attend to, while the other four boys while their day away.

I didn't talk much to Ji Yong and T.O.P.  Ji Yong was just plain snobbish, and T was just plain quiet. On the other hand, Seungri was just too distracted -- like he had ADHD. 

Youngbae was the right mix of everything. He talked to me in right succession and right time -- and we could share a peaceful silence without any awkwardness at all.

I stood up without saying anything and walked over to the bathroom. Youngbae tucked his legs in to give me space. He didn't want me to walk over him. I struggled with opening the bathroom door a little. With a nudge, I opened it, and almost fell down, I found Seungri sitting on the toilet. He tried to catch me without rising up from the toilet much. I apologized profusely and immediately closed the door.

I leaned on the closed bathroom door, more chagrined with Seungri trying to help me back on my feet while sitting on the toilet, than actually seeing him sitting on the toilent with his pants down. Instinctively, I looked at Youngbae. He was now sitting upright and using the bed's end as a back rest, and he was smirking. I laughed in embarassment, he laughed in amusement. 

T.O.P stood up from his bed, placed the book he was reading down, took his top off and went out of the room. In my mind, I thought, he was going to take a swim in the pool. Ji Yong shushed us and went back to whatever he was listening to in his headphones.

I went back to the foot of the bed and sat beside Youngbae. Now we were shoulder to shoulder. He tried to console me jokingly, as if the sight of Seungri in the toilet was something to mourn over. I tried to keep my laugh in, else we'd be shushed again -- or worst kicked out of the room. He put his arms around me casually, still joking about Seungri, then I felt him heat up to the closeness of our faces. He instantly took his arms off me and he looked away as he blushed.

We sat there quietly for almost a minute -- felt like hours -- before he stood up and grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room. 

[below this is rather TMI]

He just pulled me all the way to the other bathroom (it looked like gym bathroom with shower stalls and toilet stalls). But, I let go. Not because I didn't want to do what he was intending to do, but because, I was wearing a pad and needed to take it out before he sees it. No girl in the moment of intimacy would want the guy to see that. I was also making sure my period was over, for in my mind, the pad was just an assurance in cases of last few drops.

He went ahead of me to the shower stall, and I went into the toilet stall. I threw the pad away in the toilet, where I saw yesterday's pad opened and all red. 

As soon as I pulled my pants up, I ran to where Youngbae was.

And then, I woke up IRL, looked at my alarm clock and panicked as I was already 30minutes late for work.

Had I not had work, I would have went back to sleep and tried to find out what was supposed to happen in that shower stall.

[update: the following night, I dreamt of Arashi again, as if they were reminding me, I'm not allowed to dream of any other band or group of guys. Such possessive guys LOL]

Crapping in Front of Them -- Not a Beautiful Thing

Nino was there again. He was my classmate. There was a school fair. Arashi -- my classmates -- where going to perform as a front act to upper-class men SMAP and popular kids in school Big Bang.

But, I was ill. My digestive system was throwing a fit again, as it always does. The classrooms have their own toilets. That was where the guys were changing their clothes. I had to use the toilet, and they let me. Problem was, they let me use it while they were changing. MatsuJun was actually surprised to see me doing my thing, but after looking at an indifferent Sho, he changed his clothes in front of me. He knew that I wasn't paying attention to him anyways, and that I was waiting for Nino.

After getting out of the toilet, the girls in the class were already making message boards for Arashi's performace in the school fair. They made me write something on it. I remember writing a long message for Nino with a silver pen. They were teasing me about my very obvious crush on Nino.

However, I missed the performance because of my illness. When I came out again, MatsuJun and Sho were gone and Nino was back in his school uniform and SMAP was performing while Big Bang was preparing.

My illness got worst. My stomach pain grew. The girls in the class were already getting worried. Leanne329 suggested that they bring me to the hospital. But the other girls couldn't carry me.

Nino volunteered to help me get to the hospital. I was so excited despite the pain. The thought of being in his arms filled my mind and is only disrupted by the sporadic bouts of cramps.

He went to the school's administration office to get permission to go out of the school grounds and bring me to the hospital. The other girls were there, too, as well as the teacher. When he came back, I couldn't take it any longer so I ran to the nearest toilet.

But, the toilet was so filthy. Each bowl was filled with feces. In fact, even the floor was littered with feces. So I stood above one bowl and let go there. At the same time, I started vomiting pinkish stuff. Old ladies, probably faculty, came in and ignored my condition.

I woke up after the vomiting stopped.

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Feces usually means money. My feet touched some of it. Would that mean I'm going to have some money? The abundance of it, does that mean I have multiple means of getting it. But since I didn't touch it, does that mean I'm the one refusing it?

Or was my mind affected by my real digestive system?

Vomiting means letting go. What do I have to let go?

Why is Nino always in my dreams?