In Big Bang's Dormitory

DISCLAIMER FOR ALL BIG BANG FANS WHO GOT LOST AND ACCIDENTALLY FOUND THEIR WAY HERE: This is a dream journal. This is not a fanfiction blog. Can I make it any more clear?

~oOo~

My Uncle was taking care of Big Bang -- sort of like a house dad for the boys. Because of this, I frequently go to their house to hang out. I was midly aware they were Big Bang and that they were popular, but I didn't feel like I was a fan. I was, however, close enough to call them by their first names.

I was there that day to watch TV with the boys. I was lying on the floor, at the foot of Youngbae's bed. He was lying beside me, his head almost touching mine. I felt I was closest to Youngbae -- most likely because he was nicest to me. I had this sense that I was also close to Daesung, but he wasn't there. He had a solo gig to attend to, while the other four boys while their day away.

I didn't talk much to Ji Yong and T.O.P.  Ji Yong was just plain snobbish, and T was just plain quiet. On the other hand, Seungri was just too distracted -- like he had ADHD. 

Youngbae was the right mix of everything. He talked to me in right succession and right time -- and we could share a peaceful silence without any awkwardness at all.

I stood up without saying anything and walked over to the bathroom. Youngbae tucked his legs in to give me space. He didn't want me to walk over him. I struggled with opening the bathroom door a little. With a nudge, I opened it, and almost fell down, I found Seungri sitting on the toilet. He tried to catch me without rising up from the toilet much. I apologized profusely and immediately closed the door.

I leaned on the closed bathroom door, more chagrined with Seungri trying to help me back on my feet while sitting on the toilet, than actually seeing him sitting on the toilent with his pants down. Instinctively, I looked at Youngbae. He was now sitting upright and using the bed's end as a back rest, and he was smirking. I laughed in embarassment, he laughed in amusement. 

T.O.P stood up from his bed, placed the book he was reading down, took his top off and went out of the room. In my mind, I thought, he was going to take a swim in the pool. Ji Yong shushed us and went back to whatever he was listening to in his headphones.

I went back to the foot of the bed and sat beside Youngbae. Now we were shoulder to shoulder. He tried to console me jokingly, as if the sight of Seungri in the toilet was something to mourn over. I tried to keep my laugh in, else we'd be shushed again -- or worst kicked out of the room. He put his arms around me casually, still joking about Seungri, then I felt him heat up to the closeness of our faces. He instantly took his arms off me and he looked away as he blushed.

We sat there quietly for almost a minute -- felt like hours -- before he stood up and grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room. 

[below this is rather TMI]

He just pulled me all the way to the other bathroom (it looked like gym bathroom with shower stalls and toilet stalls). But, I let go. Not because I didn't want to do what he was intending to do, but because, I was wearing a pad and needed to take it out before he sees it. No girl in the moment of intimacy would want the guy to see that. I was also making sure my period was over, for in my mind, the pad was just an assurance in cases of last few drops.

He went ahead of me to the shower stall, and I went into the toilet stall. I threw the pad away in the toilet, where I saw yesterday's pad opened and all red. 

As soon as I pulled my pants up, I ran to where Youngbae was.

And then, I woke up IRL, looked at my alarm clock and panicked as I was already 30minutes late for work.

Had I not had work, I would have went back to sleep and tried to find out what was supposed to happen in that shower stall.

[update: the following night, I dreamt of Arashi again, as if they were reminding me, I'm not allowed to dream of any other band or group of guys. Such possessive guys LOL]

Crossings and Decisions

A friend asked me to interpret her dream for her on Plurk. When she told it to me, it was long and had too much symbols that it was almost impossible for me to respond through Plurk.  With her permission, I have posted it here instead, along with the interpretation. 

Of course, I do not claim accuracy in my interpretation. I'm neither schooled or trained in psychology, or dream interpretation. I just have a fondness of interpreting my own vivid dreams and nightmares that made me a little bit more knowledgeable than the average kid. Eventually, friends learned that I can do this sort of thing and have sought advice from me about dreams that have bothered or sparked an interest in them. Friend A from Arashi fandom sent me this message:

A  I was going home from...somewhere, I don't know where. I was in the overpass near our house when I saw Jun first.

A  I asked him "Hey, you're going home already?" and he just gave me a smile. Then he went down one flight of stairs. (In reality that set of

A   stairs doesn't exist in the overpass.)

A  And when I was about to go down the flight of stairs that does exist in our overpass, it was...different.

A  there were two flights of stairs that seemed parallel to each other. One was narrower, only one person can pass through it at a time.

A  I took that set of stairs, but halfway through there was a fork. One led to a slide and the other was more like a ladder instead of stairs.

A  I'm not sure if I saw a child or children go up through that ladder, but either way I chose to go back up where I came from and go back down

A   through the other, wider set of stairs.

A  I decided to change my route walking home a bit. One block before my house, I saw Matsujun curled up on the street, as if he was sleeping.

A   when I got closer, I (actually dared) to feel his arm and I felt he was shivering.

A  I think I tried calling up my dad, but more importantly I hugged Matsujun, hoping he'd wake up and feel better.

A  after a while, his shivering seemed to subside and he finally opened his eyes.

A   I helped him up and helped him walk to our house. I had to support his weight a bit because he still couldn't walk properly.

A   when we got home, i let him sit on our couch. Mom asked him in English "Do you want to eat anything?" and I was all "Mama, he can't speak

A   English." Jun just smiled.

A   /end dream

A   some points to consider din: i was reading a Junba fic before I slept, but none of the scenarios i described was in that fic.

HighPriestessDeksays give me the first 5 words you think of when you hear matsujun, no cheating, go!

A  diva, gwapo, hard-worker, masungit, short-haired

THE KEY-SYMBOLS AND MEANIGN: 

Overpass is a structure meant for crossing roads without the danger of getting run over by moving vehicles.  While it is technically NOT crossing a road, the point of an overpass is to get a person to the other side. What does the other side usually hold for us? It depends on each person, and it greatly depends on what one does on "the other side."

At the end of an overpass, one would need to go down to get back to the road. Going down stairs, can mean a visit to the subconscious or one is experiencing setbacks in life.

A was given an option of two stairs, a narrow and a wide one. She took the narrow one first. I know A is slightly religious, and being religious a narrow path can mean hardships with great rewards. A wider path has been socially accepted as an easier path, that, or a more liberating path.

A chose the narrow path at first, subconsciously, this straight and narrow concept is imprinted in Filipino children's minds from birth to forever. In that narrow path, she came across a fork -- which in every form of rhetoric, is a decision one has to make. One leads to a slide and the other to a ladder (children are irrelevant, since she can't remember). A slide means a sense of lost of control. While, a ladder means a way to a higher status or promotion (again with the concept of straight and narrow = rewards). We can see that to A, losing control is the other option to promotions; it's one or the other. (personally, i've always thought losing control comes WITH promotions, that's why one needs great confidence in leading).

A turned back, she wasn't ready for this. She took the wider path, lesser responsibility, more freedom in life. 

And then it was followed by the whole story about Matsumoto Jun.

MY INTERPRETATION: 

Obviously, A's fear of losing control is greater than her desire to achieve greatness. Obviously, she's not scared of the responsibility, as she went through it twice, progressing and regressing. Taking the wider path is a temporary fix.

As for the scene with MatsuJun, it is merely her repressed emotion rampantly showing itself in her subconscious. Hugging, does mean, repressed emotion in itself.

Someone, give this girl a boyfriend!