Resolutions

For two days straight, I dreamt of a continuing story about resolving things with Uno.

FIRST NIGHT

He finally sat down and listened to me. He finally accepted the love I have for him. He even listened and understood all excuses I threw at him.

He made a deal with me: I forget the past; I abandon all excuses; we ignore all external influences; we start over, as two people in love. As should have been done from the beginning.

He took my hand and pressed it on his chest. I felt his beating heart, strong but steady. It calmed me down.

He pulled me into his arms, wrapped me in an embrace.

All was quiet. I was at peace.

SECOND NIGHT

Distraction walked my way. Nino came, and swept me off my feet. I was excited and embarrassed, like a shy five-year-old girl being given a Christmas gift by a newly introduced uncle.

I fell for his commanding presence, his charm and his assurance. He didn't promise anything, just made me feel my existence is important.

As we were cuddling on the couch, Uno came in and caught me, in a way, cheating.

Uno turned around quickly and stomped out. I ran after him, apologetic and shaking.

I told Uno that I still wanted him and that I still loved him, but I couldn't let Nino go now that I have him; that I'd understand if he hated me and didn't want to see me anymore.

Uno told me calmly, though I could see him controlling his anger, to go to Nino, enjoy my day with Nino and be back to him by midnight.

I obeyed.

I ran quickly to find Nino with the strong resolve to end things with him. But, I couldn't find him.

I was left torn. Who do I belong with?
_________________________________________

Granted this came out because I had mentioned UNO again in a conversation with ate Jo.

Yet, this wishful thinking is the most relaxing feeling I've had in months.

I still want to see him. But what will come out of it? Would I really have to leave my fangirling behind if UNO comes with me?

Nino Again

This is fast becoming a Nino Dream Blog.

But It's not.

BUT THIS IS A NINO DREAM ENTRY.

-oOo-

I am locked in my dark room, curled up in a ball on my bed, watching a TV show. Haven't taken a bath, haven't even brushed my teeth. Haven't even washed my face .

The door cracks open, a small amount of light comes in. I hear footsteps approach me, but I don't even raise my head to look at who came in.

Then I feel his hair fall on my cheeks as he planted a kiss on my temple. I hear his bag drop with a thud. His head moves to my neck, I feel his warm breath on it. He doesn't kiss. He just stays bent over his nose and mouth on my neck.

After a few seconds, he pushes my body to give him space on the bed. He lies down and spoons me, his right arm wraps around my waist and clutches me tighter to him. With his left hand, he turns my face to him and he kisses me on my mouth, strong and hard. I feel his tongue. I feel him sucking me.

I face him and and push him down the bed, pull his shirt over his head. I plant small kisses on his tiny frame. In my head, I think, only I can see that the one-pack is fake.

He pulls me up to him in an effort to kiss me again. But, then, I remember that I haven't brushed my teeth and I got embarrassed. I apologize to him and say I'll brush my teeth first. And he says in Japanese, "Nevermind that. I'm hard already."

In half obedience, I go down again, try to take off his pants. Halfway of pulling down his pants, he let out a sigh. He is no longer in the mood. And he says in English, "Why did you even have to bring that up."

I lick his nipple to turn him on again, but he pushes me away and says it won't work. He asks me, "Why do you have to be like this? Why can't you give me all of you?"

I start crying. I stroke his legs, feeling his leg hair, begging him to give me time to adjust. "I'm trying. It's been so long since I was in a relationship, and they were all failures. I don't know how to do this, but I'm trying. I swear."

He doesn't respond for awhile. He just lays there, with his pants half down, his boxers showing.

I let him go. And curl up at the foot of the bed, crying.

"I just need you to give yourself to me," was the last I heard.

________________________________________________

I woke up with that line ringing in my head. Despite the fact that I was crying really hard in my dream, I was a happy happy camper when I woke up.

And who wouldn't be?

Should I even analyze this dream? In the end, it'll just come out as a reflection on my fear of moving.

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