Showing posts with label death is change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death is change. Show all posts

Sunday, February 08, 2015

Choices


I was part of a troupe of actors, con-artists, devoted suicidal cult following. We had finally finished the conversion mission. Our last act was to sacrifice ourselves. In the group of 10, only one will survive to do the sacrifice. It wasn't me.

We dressed up in our best garbs -- white lace gowns and tuxedos. And we waited on the second floor of the nearby church in the middle of the slums. Four of us at the right balcony, and rest at the other side.  We watched the sun set through the stencil(?) Window of the mother holding her hands out to her devotee. And when darkness rose, we lit the candles around us and laid down on the floor. Our hands clasped together in prayer over our bellies.

As our leader went through the members, my decision wavered. I didn't want to die. I wanted to live. I counted the moans of the dying. On the seventh, I opened my eyes. On the eight, I watched a woman stabbed and die. On the night, I heard my self beg. Please don't kill me. Please, I changed my mind. I want to WRITE. I have yet to finish my piece. There's so much more I have to write. I have to write about this! 

The leader and I struggled with the knife as my pleads fell on deaf ears. We rolled on the floor and I found myself on top of him, overpowering him, stabbing him,.

I ran down and away from them dead fanatics. I looked for a garb to hide the splash of scarlet on my white lace gown. I found a priest's cloak, a San Franciscan robe. I wore it and ran towards the exit under the mother holding her hands out to me. I knocked down the candles and it ignited the whole place as I ran away. Far at the edges of the slum, I watched the church burn down. I watched the people living in the slums gravitate towards the spectacle. While all backs were turned on me, I turned my back on them and left.



I found myself at a bank bed of a creak. It used to be a flood that etched a permanent tide. Industrious people had made it a living to offer a means to cross to the other side. One was a barge; it was easy and clean, but the wait was long. Another is a series of planks meant to serve as a bridge; they were long and they were winding, and they were muddy, but there was no waiting to get through. It takes about the same time if you take either.

I didn't have enough for the boat, and I had plenty for the plank bridge. I took out the only money I had from my pocket -- a $5 coin and it shone like gold. There were four faces on the head. I didn't care to see the tails. But I felt the texture of it and I felt it was a waste to just use it to cross a simple creak. I looked on the muddy banks and I found a series of stones to get me to the other side, faster and free. Yes they were slippery and unstable, but the other two means had their own risk. The barge could sink if it went over the maximum capacity. The planks could break from wear.

So I took my chance and jumped from one stone to another as a barge crossed adjacent to me and people on the planks balanced themselves from falling. I reached the other side safely. A man with light brown hair and long face complemented me for making my own path, and I saw from his eyes the twinkle of attraction.


As I was changing my bed's linens, the man with light brown hair and long face pleaded to me to go with him to party. I told him I'll go when I finish changing the shams. He took a sham and started finish withd vigorous speed.



After a night of partying, we took my patron's limo and dropped everybody home until it was just the man and me left. The limo driver asked us where we off to and the man said to bring us back to his place. The driver asked clarifying if he should wait for me or just drop me off and come back. Considering we had to get the limo and the driver back to the mansion before my patron was back, I threw the decision to the man: either we go back to my patron's, his parent's mansion and he could leave as soon as he was fit to drive; or I go to his place and I stay overnight, and the driver could pick me up in the morning.

He was held aback. I could feel him sobering up because of the choices I had given him.



I woke up before I could get an answer.


~oOo~
Interp pending

Sunday, June 12, 2011

High School [Part 2]

It took me a little time to write the first part, and so details for this has already degraded in my head.

-oOo-

Like I've always been, I was loitering around the campus when the fire alarm started to ring. This time, it was for real. I still saw no smoke or fire. But, the feeling of the atmosphere seemed to be heavy. But the ring was faint and the classes seemed to have not heard it.

I ran up the stairs to help with the evacuation of the students. In each classroom, I told the teachers that the drill is on and that they have to move out. One male teacher tried to ignore me and went on with his lessons, but I asserted the urgency of this alarm and that it is not a drill. Another teacher told him to listen and just go. He gathered up his students and flocked them out of the building.

I joined them outside as we looked up at the still and quiet building. The chatters of the student and the faint ringing of the bell envelopes our surrounding. But, the building stayed still.

The male teacher kept on telling people that I must have triggered the alarm to skip classes. I ignored him, as my curiosity took possession of me.

I slowly walked upstairs, leaving the noise behind. A few more students hurried out. I followed the hallway, checking the empty classrooms for students that might have been stubborn enough not to leave.

A couple of teachers did the same, but did not tell me off. In fact, they only checked the classrooms I've checked and let me lead the way.

At the last classroom of hall, at turn of the corner, I saw a pair of legs on the floor -- khaki pants, dark brown shoes. A pair of a man's legs. I approached it and saw that the man was dead. I saw no blood or cut, but I knew he was brutally murdered.

In the classroom next to it, a pair of women lay dead. No blood, no cut. Pale as if blood had been drained.

I continued on to follow the hallway in its next turn. I saw three women, two of them lying down. The one standing told me that they're alive, but injured. I looked at the women lying down. One was pale and scared. The other, had a towel over half of her face. She gave me a glare before turning around. As she turned around, the towel covering her face moved, and, I saw that that half of her face was flayed.

I ran and told the teachers about the dead bodies. Then, I blacked-out.

When I came to, I was in the room across the classroom where the dead man's body was found. I took the blue towel on the wall and hurried out. I guess, in my hurry, a thread was caught by the door and unraveled. I was so scared to go back and let the thread loose, thus, I try to cut it from the towel itself.

Then, I heard scuffling from down the stairs. I over-heard one of the faculty saying, "She's awake, hurry hide." with excited voices. I look over the balcony and see part of a banner that has my name and the beginning of the word "Congratulations"

I stood still. I didn't know what was more dreadful. This surprise party, or the thought of staying in a place where I discovered dead bodies.
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Death has always meant change for me. But I could never understand what corpses mean to me.
Generally, a corpse mean that something within the dreamer has died. Usually, an ambition or drive. I don't think my ambitiono or drive has died. But, I do feel, I'm at a standstill.

It may also mean that the dreamer is not expressing him or herself. In which case, I don't run out of things to express.

So what does this mean? Dreaming of corpses recurs to me frequently. I need to know.

A blue thread is something new to me. Obviously, it's a path or an option I can take at this stand still. Am I trying to run away from a path that I'm supposed to be in?

The injured woman definitely means something. Why the face. Why only half of the face. Why was she flayed. What does being skinned mean? Why was she glaring at me?

I need help in this dream.



Tuesday, November 22, 2005

More Death

Once again, death was the theme of my dream.

It was a game, where one by one people fall down. I didn't want to join, but my mere presence in the Mansion means I am already a contender. Batman was there, but he wasn't Bruce Wayne-y enough ... he wore transparent plastic teeth brace brackets for crying out loud. And when I asked him to deliver me from this evil, he said no, I have to compete and survive.

The Mansion, wasn't really a mansion. I've been there before, in another dream, where I was back in my old school as I've already graduated college. It was the Tall Camella School, where there was a Catholic Chapel in the nth floor and above that a conical shaped attic where I had to ask a student to NOT jump.

And remembering this, I had thought I would be safe there. So I ran. Along the way, I passed by the people I was with when I arrived, one after the other. They were all lying down, on a blood of pool.

I distinctly remember Icheb. He was so red with blood and his head seemed like to ooze more. He was supposed to be dead, but I thought he wasn't because his lips were twitching. I wanted to help and bring him up. But it was either I was forbidden or I was thinking of self-preservation. I ran. I ran up. I got to the Chapel, but I can't remember if I ever got to the attic and out. I knew there was still someone else alive in the grounds and that was the reason why I was still being chased.

And it scared the shit out of me. I had to force myself to wake up.

Friday, September 30, 2005

Deaths and Lovers

++*Please refer to Proven Translation*++

When I awoke the first time at 7 am, a had a very heavy feeling. Dreadful because of my dream.

I dreamt Ian died in a middle of an office ... just dropping dead. I wasn't there, I didn't see it myself. I was with Myna somewhere else. And someone called up Myna. And it was Myna who told me. He died with a heart failure. And in that dream, I was convincing my mind, I was just dreaming.

And well considering this vision ... it's either they will be getting married by the end of the year or early next year ... or Myna will be carrying a child soon. I hope both, if it's not really a problem healthwise. :D
_________________________________________________________________

Then I went back to sleep. This time, I dreamt I was making out with the gayest friend I have right now.

And he asked me ... You do understand that I'm gay, right? ... I said yes.

You do understand that this is just for tonight, right? ... I said yes.

You do understand there is no hope for me in liking you in the way you want, right? ... I said yes.

Then I kissed him. And more things ensued.

Weird ... he's not even my type ... even if he IS gay.