Showing posts with label red period. Show all posts
Showing posts with label red period. Show all posts

Monday, January 28, 2013

My Own Silent Hill


It's been a while since I had the reason to write down my dream. I haven't even been able to interpret these dreams. However, this one I just had moments ago was so disturbing, I was compelled to put it in writing.

It started out an Arashi fangirl's dream. I was with Arashi's management team, but I didn't really know what my job was. It was in the middle of a music video or a commercial shoot set, and people were preparing the set. They were all treating me like a child, telling me not to do anything, instead of telling me what to do. But, true to their fear, I did break a whole set and we had to put it back again. In the dream, I described the set as a necklace for the house, it had no use, but, to accesorize.

Ohno and Nino came and started teasing me, like we've always known each other. But, my memory intact, I knew I wasn't acquainted to them, not in real life anyways. And, so, I started blushing at the attention they were giving me. Fangirls participating in the shoot were fighting in over a flying balloon, one girl claiming it her own. Nino asked me to break up the fight and give the balloon to the the girl claiming it, for he knew it was hers. Later, after the whole crew have eaten, I started doing the dishes. The higher ups thanked me for doing that, however, Nino distracted me and when I came back, the dishes were done.

After the shoot was done, I had to run to a meeting. The meeting was in a rundown complex, where some people lived and some people did business. In a corner stall, a person was screening Lea Salongga's sing-along karaoke webcasts. She looked so young in the TV, but I couldn't figure out what the stall was really selling or if it was selling anything at all.

In the middle of the meeting, I felt that my period came and I wasn't prepared. I ignored it thinking maybe it was just the first gush. But as time wore on, I felt how badly wet and sticky it felt, and I was worried it'll leak and stain my velvet skirt. I ran to the nearest bathroom, past the stall still screening Lea Salongga's sing-along. I went in and notice a lot of people were in it, both male and female. They seemed to be investigating an incident, which I didn't really care to know. I didn't care they were there at all. They can watch me put on napkin or whatever, just as long as I could do what I went there for. But, almost all the stalls are occupied. And everytime I asked, the people kept on telling me to ask permission from the chief -- a lady in the middle of the public bathroom.

I decided to ignore it and just went in a stall on the right of the entrance. As I was putting down my pants, a man in a SWAT uniform came in and said that the chief told him to use this stall instead. So, I put my pants back on, and left. I started towards the next stall, but then, the reddish/brownish muck from the bathtub of that stall suddenly bubbled and a female figure slowly came out of the muck as if being lifted up. Then a pair of muscular arms came out as it lifted the female body and let it fall down without care. A mascular male body came out of the muck and stayed there staring at me.

I ignored it as I approached the chief. I asked her to give me a stall just so I could put on a fresh pair of underwear and deal with my period. She pointed me to the same stall where the bathtub was with all the muck. I said, "ayoko nga, may gumagalaw dun eh (I don't want to go there, something's moving in there)." The chief was surprised to hear that. She turned to look at the bathtub, her subordinates followed. Her eyes started to widen in fear. Then in a flash, the man who displaced me from the first stall I went to, was thrown between us, dead with a open skull. Not, yet done with the violence, he was pulled back by the feet as quickly as he was thrown out.

I saw the male figure rise out of his muck in the bathtub. Another muscular male figure came out of the shower stall beside the toilet stall I came from, also covered in reddish/brownish muck. I panicked and ran. Right behind me, the chief was also running to save her life. I have no idea how she lost all her clothes. She was completely naked by the time we reached the double doors of the building.

But the doors were all closed and locked. And losing all senses, we couldn't open it. We started trying to break the glass. It was made of flexiglass. But the strength of a terrified and panicked woman could be stronger than any sharp bullet. The chief, with her naked body was able to break the glass and got us out of there.

We separated as soon as we got out of the building. And as I walked away, I said to myself, and out loud, too, "That bathroom again, same bathroom, always that bathroom. I've got to wake up. Wake up, Dekya, wake up!" I slapped myself twice. And I woke up disturbed by the dream.

Friday, September 28, 2012

In Big Bang's Dormitory

DISCLAIMER FOR ALL BIG BANG FANS WHO GOT LOST AND ACCIDENTALLY FOUND THEIR WAY HERE: This is a dream journal. This is not a fanfiction blog. Can I make it any more clear?

~oOo~

My Uncle was taking care of Big Bang -- sort of like a house dad for the boys. Because of this, I frequently go to their house to hang out. I was midly aware they were Big Bang and that they were popular, but I didn't feel like I was a fan. I was, however, close enough to call them by their first names.

I was there that day to watch TV with the boys. I was lying on the floor, at the foot of Youngbae's bed. He was lying beside me, his head almost touching mine. I felt I was closest to Youngbae -- most likely because he was nicest to me. I had this sense that I was also close to Daesung, but he wasn't there. He had a solo gig to attend to, while the other four boys while their day away.

I didn't talk much to Ji Yong and T.O.P.  Ji Yong was just plain snobbish, and T was just plain quiet. On the other hand, Seungri was just too distracted -- like he had ADHD. 

Youngbae was the right mix of everything. He talked to me in right succession and right time -- and we could share a peaceful silence without any awkwardness at all.

I stood up without saying anything and walked over to the bathroom. Youngbae tucked his legs in to give me space. He didn't want me to walk over him. I struggled with opening the bathroom door a little. With a nudge, I opened it, and almost fell down, I found Seungri sitting on the toilet. He tried to catch me without rising up from the toilet much. I apologized profusely and immediately closed the door.

I leaned on the closed bathroom door, more chagrined with Seungri trying to help me back on my feet while sitting on the toilet, than actually seeing him sitting on the toilent with his pants down. Instinctively, I looked at Youngbae. He was now sitting upright and using the bed's end as a back rest, and he was smirking. I laughed in embarassment, he laughed in amusement. 

T.O.P stood up from his bed, placed the book he was reading down, took his top off and went out of the room. In my mind, I thought, he was going to take a swim in the pool. Ji Yong shushed us and went back to whatever he was listening to in his headphones.

I went back to the foot of the bed and sat beside Youngbae. Now we were shoulder to shoulder. He tried to console me jokingly, as if the sight of Seungri in the toilet was something to mourn over. I tried to keep my laugh in, else we'd be shushed again -- or worst kicked out of the room. He put his arms around me casually, still joking about Seungri, then I felt him heat up to the closeness of our faces. He instantly took his arms off me and he looked away as he blushed.

We sat there quietly for almost a minute -- felt like hours -- before he stood up and grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room. 

[below this is rather TMI]

He just pulled me all the way to the other bathroom (it looked like gym bathroom with shower stalls and toilet stalls). But, I let go. Not because I didn't want to do what he was intending to do, but because, I was wearing a pad and needed to take it out before he sees it. No girl in the moment of intimacy would want the guy to see that. I was also making sure my period was over, for in my mind, the pad was just an assurance in cases of last few drops.

He went ahead of me to the shower stall, and I went into the toilet stall. I threw the pad away in the toilet, where I saw yesterday's pad opened and all red. 

As soon as I pulled my pants up, I ran to where Youngbae was.

And then, I woke up IRL, looked at my alarm clock and panicked as I was already 30minutes late for work.

Had I not had work, I would have went back to sleep and tried to find out what was supposed to happen in that shower stall.

[update: the following night, I dreamt of Arashi again, as if they were reminding me, I'm not allowed to dream of any other band or group of guys. Such possessive guys LOL]