Monster Husband and his 6-Year-Old Nth Wife

Because we're leaving, there were always some food to pack, to bring along to the travel.

I was married, to this head honcho. He's gorgeous. But, he's also a monster. A literal one.

He may have married me, but he married several other wives, too. The most recent of whom, is a 6 year old child. Or so I thought. I was angry, a little jealous of the girl, and worried of the frailness of that body.

On her first night, while she occupies the main bed, I stay in the lower bed and wait for my husband to disappear into the night. I was deadset on protecting the girl, even if I have to be punished for it. I jump to the other bed, ready to hush the little girl in case she cries at the sight of the monster. The monster husband doesn't like crying little girls. He devours them, like all mosters do.

When the husband came back from his monster form to mist to his gorgeous naked human form, I covered the girl with my body. But, he was stronger and he just pulled me away from her with one hand. However small his package was, he was still strong and powerful.

I offered myself so that he wouldn't have to touch her. But, he still did. Then the little girl threw up. The monster husband told me to clean her up, and the bed afterwards. I asked her what was wrong, and he answered for her. She's pregnant, he said. That can't be, was my only response, to which he answer, she's old enough.

It was the first time I heard the child speak. She said to me, it's ok, my body can take it.

I carried her to the bathroom, cleaned her up with the help of another wife. Third wife, if I remember correctly. All throughout while I was giving her a bath, I was thinking of how to take this child away from the monster husband.

And then, there were more food packings to be done.

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These are new concepts to me and so I had to look them all up.

Packing food, hoarding for the trip means, I'm scared of this SG trip I'm embarking on. I'm insecure because I don't have enough money and I'm at a lost how I'll get through.

When I looked at the monster husband, I see a naked form, but I wasn't aroused. My thoughts were still on the child and how to protect her. I didn't care about him. So when I looked this up, they say it meant that I needed to learn how to be not afraid of rejection. Last night, I had a moment when I felt I was rejected. I guess, my unconscious is telling me to end this insecurity.

Seeing someone vomit means someone is taking advantage of me and lying about it. But, I have not had any interaction with a lot of people late. I am only surrounded by most trusted ones.

Saving a child means saving myself. What am I trying to save myself from? What or who is this monster husband?

Taguig Ho House

Taguig house is my grandfather's house. However, in this dream It was MS & IS's house where they let me stay for free in exchange for my services, I even have my own room. What kind of services? At first I thought it was just being a servant of sort, house cleaning, house sitting.

The Taguig house kind of looks different, however, in my dream's memory, it's the same house. Across the hall from my room, Squal stays, along with the other guys.

I was a little randy and seeing Squal there, I thought, hey maybe I can get some from him. It's a bad idea, being my ex, and I didn't want to stir up old feelings and confusion, when all I needed was sex.

After a few getting away from chores he was doing, I was able to pull him inside my room. He happily obliged -- a little smug, too. At first, I started small talk. I asked him why JPM moved out of this house long before I even thought of moving in. He pulled me to sit on his lap, I started kissing him, and in between kisses he answered me. "He can't handle the job here," he said, "No one's forcing us, but in the end, it's much easier that way."

And I understood immediately, we offer sexual services and we have our own rooms for that purpose.

I woke up and I find nobody else in my bed. So I went out of my room and find that the whole house was having a general clean up. I called out to Squal and asked him to explain some things to me. I couldn't remember what happened, did something happen between us or not? Apparently, I blacked out.

Before he could stand up and approach me, NY grabbed my arms and pulled me to the side, asking me, "Where those cats I heard last night, or somebody finally getting some?" A flash of memory of last night's tryst came to me. It looked wild.

I blushed. Not because I'm ashamed of what I did, but more because I was embarrassed for being noisy.

I felt Squal's strong hands pulling me away from Nick. He was a little peeved. I couldn't understand why he was peeved. He dragged me down the stairs and out to the front door. Before we could exit, we find a room's door ajar and there one of our supposed housemates were giving a Chinese-mestiza woman a service. And the woman is obviously very happy about it.

We went out and Squal explained to me that I blacked out. But before he could say anything else, I went back in the house, curious of the quick clean up and the ongoing service. When I went in, IdlC and her husband were already cleaning up after our fellow member who had walked the woman to her car. Semen were all over the pillows. IdlC was nagging.

And the realization hit me. It's true. Question now is, should I stay or should I go?

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Squal was an amalgam of Squal and Nino. He has Squal's face, but his demeanor was so Nino. Upon waking up, I was a bit confused as to who really was in my dream. The hair was very Nino, though, as well as the smug face. The suave actions he also did is so not Squal -- like the way he pulled me to him and the way he grabbed my arm.

Apparently, sex with an ex in dreams mean embarking on a new situation. Once again, the immigration thing comes up, I guess.

We learn something new everyday. Or in this case, every night.

A Crying Baby on the Day of My Immigration Medical Exam

Because I woke up super early today, and that distracts me from recalling my dreams, it was only when I was riding the cab to the hospital when I remembered that I had a dream. I could only remember flashes of it. You know how in the movie trailers, they flash scenes with accompanying sound effect of heartbeats? That was how I remember it.

There was a baby again. And SHE was my baby. And she was crying. Bawling so loudly. And I couldn't make her stop crying.

In my dream's memory, it was the child I had with Nino. But, maybe my non-dreaming mind had already altered that, so I'm not gonna count that in.

I know it's all about this immigration thing. Babies, starting anew. Starting from scratch.

But why was she crying this time?

Crapping in Front of Them -- Not a Beautiful Thing

Nino was there again. He was my classmate. There was a school fair. Arashi -- my classmates -- where going to perform as a front act to upper-class men SMAP and popular kids in school Big Bang.

But, I was ill. My digestive system was throwing a fit again, as it always does. The classrooms have their own toilets. That was where the guys were changing their clothes. I had to use the toilet, and they let me. Problem was, they let me use it while they were changing. MatsuJun was actually surprised to see me doing my thing, but after looking at an indifferent Sho, he changed his clothes in front of me. He knew that I wasn't paying attention to him anyways, and that I was waiting for Nino.

After getting out of the toilet, the girls in the class were already making message boards for Arashi's performace in the school fair. They made me write something on it. I remember writing a long message for Nino with a silver pen. They were teasing me about my very obvious crush on Nino.

However, I missed the performance because of my illness. When I came out again, MatsuJun and Sho were gone and Nino was back in his school uniform and SMAP was performing while Big Bang was preparing.

My illness got worst. My stomach pain grew. The girls in the class were already getting worried. Leanne329 suggested that they bring me to the hospital. But the other girls couldn't carry me.

Nino volunteered to help me get to the hospital. I was so excited despite the pain. The thought of being in his arms filled my mind and is only disrupted by the sporadic bouts of cramps.

He went to the school's administration office to get permission to go out of the school grounds and bring me to the hospital. The other girls were there, too, as well as the teacher. When he came back, I couldn't take it any longer so I ran to the nearest toilet.

But, the toilet was so filthy. Each bowl was filled with feces. In fact, even the floor was littered with feces. So I stood above one bowl and let go there. At the same time, I started vomiting pinkish stuff. Old ladies, probably faculty, came in and ignored my condition.

I woke up after the vomiting stopped.

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Feces usually means money. My feet touched some of it. Would that mean I'm going to have some money? The abundance of it, does that mean I have multiple means of getting it. But since I didn't touch it, does that mean I'm the one refusing it?

Or was my mind affected by my real digestive system?

Vomiting means letting go. What do I have to let go?

Why is Nino always in my dreams?

Candles and Old People

I couldn't remember much this time. I only remember the details.

As we watch darkness unfold from our window, we were trapped in one house with all these people I don't know. My mom was there, an old grouchy grandpa with a cane, an old loving couple, a girl friend, and a young man of about 15. It felt like that there were more coming, and that we weren't the only ones living in the house. In my memories, I seem to be married.

I have a mug, with a big fat candle inside it in real life -- it was there in my dream and it seems to be wearing out already. The candle has burned off the wax and all I can say was, "you have served us well."

We were running out of candles, and I was trying to make those we have at hand work for the night. The old loving couple borrowed one -- the woman was going to help her husband to the bathroom. I gave them the mug with the big fat burned off candle. It was easier to use than any of the others.

I was trying to make one thin candle stand inside a jar. But, as I tried, it snapped into tiny pieces held only by its wick. My mom was telling me to let it go. We'll get more candles in the morning. I told her, we need it now, as I tried to fix it up with a magic tape.

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Candle meaning? It seems like I'm sexually repressed, and that I have too much ideas and have too much activities going on and that I'm letting go of something important to me. It's breaking me apart.

Ah, yeah. Still the USA fears.

The old loving couple, is forgivness and wisdom that I shall be having when I grow older. Meaning? I don't need to hurry.

Oh the grumpy old man with a cane, he's one of my guardians (guardian angel or guardian spirit).

MOTEL -- Ohno (Part 2/2)

Usually, when I have a dream so beautiful -- or so sexy like the previous one -- I go back diving in, gambling on whether I could really continue the dream or not. Sometimes, I do. Most of the times, I end up in a continuation, usually with a huge time gap.

And because It took me quite some time to finish part one, my memory has already degraded and had forgotten how the dream started as well.

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Duds and Pax came to the house. It was raining outside. They were with Ohno. Ohno was tired so I let him sleep in the bedroom immediately.

I heard Duds and Pax laughing and giggling while doing it in the bedroom, I was crying my eyes right outside. Even in my dreams, I was depressed. I was depressed because I couldn't be with Nino, and I was missing him terribly. I knew he was at work, I knew I shouldn't be this depressed. But, I couldn't control the emotions, especially when I can hear someone happy, and I couldn't.

Duds barged out of the bedroom. I jerked up and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth, trying to hide my swollen eyes and my wet face. Duds brushed her hair right beside me, intentionally not mentioning that she can see how swollen I was. With every brush of her hair, I took out hair from my mouth, as if I was choking on hair ball. When she finished, and as I was removing the last hairs in my throat, she faced me and told me -- "you can have all my hair. "

I stared at her and thought for a moment what that meant. Our stares were cut short by a text I received, someone told me Nino's on MTV as of this moment. I ran out and grabbed the remote control from Pax and turned to MTV, but the show has ended. It was Ryusei no Kizuna's Ariake trio in Florida beach for a promotion, and all I got to see was the ending credits and glimpses of Nino between Nishikido Ryo and Toda Erika.

Now, I'm angrier than depressed. Angry at Duds. Angry at Pax for not turning to MTV quickly. Angry at Nino for not being there.

I turned around and I see the bedroom door still ajar. So, I thought of taking a bath to cool off. I was grabbing my green towel when I saw Ohno and remembered I had made him sleep there. I apologized to him, more so if I had woken him up rather than putting him in the same bedroom as the couple.

I apologized bowing down. That's when I noticed a baby staring at me with big round eyes -- lying down on the floor, behind the bedroom door, right beside Pax's big blue bag.

I smiled and got excited. I tried to pick up the baby, but as he rolled over and over trying to crawl, I couldn't control my laughter.

Ohno, then, asked me "Is he Nino's?" I smiled. I nodded. I picked up the baby who took all my depression away.

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Obviously, this was a continuation but it's like at least 1 year after the last dream, as the baby is just starting to crawl.

I felt better after waking up this time. The baby really did made me feel better. Babies usually mean significant change in lifestyle. Probably, this was brought about the conversations about immigrations last night at dinner. Mind you, my dream-universe baby with Nino -- uber cute!

Distinct things:

Other than the baby, that hairball was interesting. I need to find out what that means. I was also distinctly taller than Duds, which I noticed as we were facing the mirror. And that brushing of teeth and hair.

The brush Duds was using, yellow and huge. The bed covers Ohno wrapped himself with was a red flannel one. Pax's blue bag from college. My green towel again (but then, IRL, all my towels are green but one).

And that crying. It was really emotionally draining.

MOTEL -- Nino (Part 1/2)

Anything before Nino I had already forgotten. You'd know why...
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I was waiting at a motel. Not the Philippine-kind, but more like the ones we see in Supernatural. In my mind, I was waiting for Duds. But I also knew Nino was coming.

Bored of waiting alone, I decided to take a shower. As I turned the knob of the shower, a few sprinkles hit my head, I heard him singing outside the motel. The microsecond that it took made me turn off the shower. Wrapped in a towel, I quietly opened the bathroom door and peeked out through the window beside the door.

Nino was there, in a white polo shirt, eating a hot dog sandwich on top of a park table, his on the bench meant for the table. He was wearing a white polo shirt. I watched him finish his hot dog sandwhich. He was mumbling his song through out. All through out this, I felt I was so in love with this guy.

After he swallowed the last bite, he made his way to my motel's door. I rushed back to hide in the bathroom. I heard him call out my name. I answered, "I'm sorry, I'm still not done taking a bath." Truth was, I haven't even started. I opened the bathroom door a little, to take a peek at what he was doing and show him my wet head.

He was taking off his shirt, and as soon as he saw the door open, he forced his way in. Under the shower -- as zuruikoi of LJ infamously puts it -- he stuck it in.
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I woke up with a pain in my lower abdomen. The kind of pain you get when you didn't finish doing the deed or got cut off before you came. That kind of pissed me off. My cellphone's alarm woke me up.

I could not remember which song Nino was mumbling through his hot dog sandwich. But, that I assume was caused by the MP3 player I left playing on a loop -- Arashi solo songs folder. A similar thing happened in part 2.

Distinct things: Nino's white polo, my green towel (that also makes an appearance in part 2), the bathroom door and it's lock (it's aluminum with a simple lock -- like those you see in cheap Philippine public toilet) and that hot dog sandwhich. The bathroom was really big. It felt like I was in a hentai movie, where the bathroom was supposed to be small but it grows as you zoom out.

There's notthing much to explain in this part. It is so Freudian, it's so obvious.

Should I mention, in my dream memory, we're supposedly married?

My Nino dream has escalated once again.

Spitting Out False Tooth

Today, this is the only distinct part I remember.

I woke up on my bed, and coughed out some phlegm and a speck of blood. When I looked up, Myna and Adrian M. was sitting beside my bed with pale surprised faces. They both told me, I just spit out a tooth and it flew over away from us. I felt my gums, and true enough one of my teeth is missing.

It seemed like I went to other places and did some other things before remembering about my tooth lying somewhere out there.

So when I came back to that place where my tooth was supposed to be, I looked for it. I found it, it had a crown of sorts at it's base. A crown that was supposed to be holding on to my gums.

So it wasn't my real tooth. It's a fake tooth to begin with. I can still have it put back.

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Old people said that falling tooth/teeth means either the death of a loved one or the receipt of great fortune. Or probably both.

Psychology indicates that falling tooth/teeth means the loss of control, power or confidence.

What could it be?

Nino, My Sweet Detective Lover

Nino and I were in some kind of detective unit. But we were also lovers.

There was a death in a condominium pool. Tania was there, she had invited me to go swim with her. But, by the time I arrived, the dead body was being fished out, and the investigation has been concluded. They didn't even rope out the area to keep people from messing with the evidence. In fact, I went right into that pool, it was cold, but I wasn't a least bit icked out. As waded through the cold water of the big pool where the dead body was to the small hot tub where Tania was, she asked me, "aren't you worried? The dead body was just there a few minutes ago."

I jumped to her side, but she got off the hot tub and went to the shower. As I was just there to talk to Tania, I left the hot tub, and took a shower next to Tania's cubicle. We talked mostly and she asked about my boyfriend.

When I came back to our apartment, I reported my findings and submitted a bundle of pictures, Nino was there. He grabbed the pictures I was holding. I took a peek as Nino went through the bundle, I recognized the guy in the pictures. It was Uno. I didn't know what it was for, or why we needed that much picture of Uno. But, there was only feeling of indifference.

We went to class, still discussing the bundle of pictures. The topic changed as soon as Uno sat beside Nino. Apparently, he's in the same class, and while the chairs were arranged in an oblong, I sat a seat away from Nino, and Nino sat beside Uno. I said something brilliant to which Nino responded with so much appreciation and pride. He pulled me and him to kiss me, and I was so happy.

He was pulling me to him to sit on his lap, and I wanted to. I wanted to sit on his lap, and I wanted to put my arms around his neck and rest my forehead on his forehead and plant some small kisses on his lips and cheeks. I wanted his arms around my waist, slowly rocking me with his every movement. I wanted my head on his shoulder, feeling the faint heat of his neck, smelling that faint traces of his cologne, as he energetically talked to the people around him. But, I pulled away.

And we struggled. When the professor came in, I lost the struggle in surprise or panic, but he immediately sat me in his chair right beside him.

Which was next to Uno, who was watching us. But, again, I only felt indifference. I only saw Nino.

The teacher told me to go back to my seat. I slapped Nino's shoulder playfully and blamed him for my being reprimanded. The teacher writes some things on the board and sits beside me. The teacher was between me and Nino. When we saw the movie we were going to watch for the class, Nino just got up and left. He said, he saw it already and has no need to see it again.

After apologizing to the professor, I left to chase after him. But, I didn't know where to go, and I couldn't see him anymore. Panic rose in me.

I saw Miao in a classroom with transparent glass walls at the fourth floor, while I was walking the halls of the second floor. I called out to him and asked him to call Carlo. He did, and he told me to meet them at Sxxxxx, because that's where they told Nino to meet him and Duds.

So, I went to them, at the second floor of Sxxxxx, Carlo was talking to Nino and that he went to No. 2 instead. Carlo was arguing with Nino on the phone. Duds was explaining to me, Nino went to the wrong place. Miscommunication, the couple just came from No. 2. She told me to wait, but I couldn't.

So I ran, chose to use the forbidden shortcut to go where Nino was. The collapsed stairs, collapsed even more, I guess, that's why it was forbidden to use that route. As I got down the crumbling concrete stairs, my shoes flew off, but that didn't stop me. I pulled out my shoes from underneath the concrete and put it back on. I ran. Ran with all my energy to No. 2. And amidst the crowd, I searched for him, but I couldn't find him.

I left the building, and started walking along Silangan Rd. I thought, that I'd have better chances seeing him in the apartment, it was getting dark already. While walking, I took out my phone and dialed his number. But, I still get disconnected. The mobile phone seems to be broken.

I pass by Sxxxxx again, where Karla and John, with their red-streaked hair, were standing by the building's first floor. Second floor was closed off by a red gate, as red as their hair-streaks. The only floor now open was the basement where the food court was.

Karla and John teased me, about how sweet it was of my boyfriend to take on the punishment all on his own for something we both did wrong -- going through the forbidden short-cut. Karla, winked at me and tilted her head towards the stairs to the basement food court.

Even on top of the stairs, I saw him. He was mopping the floor in between responding to other guys in the food court. I could feel the warm tears fall down my cheeks. I couldn't help myself. I ran to him and jump to hug him.

After a few seconds -- that felt like minutes -- in that tight warm embrace, he turned around and wrapped my arms around him. Placed even my right hand on his left breast, which I clenched the way he likes it. He mopped the floor around the food court with me attached to him like that. That was my punishment. He pointed out his senpai, Sakumoto of V6 was eating together with a group of older guys, as if telling me that he will be teased by the his co-members.

I wanted to buy him a snack, but part of me wanted to cook him dinner. I couldn't decide. I asked the food lady, Nida Blanca, what should I do?

But then, I woke up.

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SUBCONSCIOUS

It's been a long time since I had a dream about Nino. But, everytime, it's just as sweet. Which is contrary to my fantasies, where he's the Do-S perverted little him that he might just be.

The setting, is, once again UPLB. Our apartment was near White House. This is a manifestation of my regret. It only means, I need to go back to writing. I was planning on writing last Friday and last night. But I ended up staning updates on the Japan earthquake situation.

This is an alternate universe elbi. Where there are buildings with glass walls, the floors were uneven, it was constructed like huge stairs, wherein the second floor was wider than the third, and the third wider than the fourth. There's meaning to the transparency. I'm still trying to figure this out.

Sxxxxx building, is like a mall inside the campus, and No. 2 is its twin building. I couldn't remember the name of the building, I only remember it starting with the letter "S". Like the building mentioned, this does not exist in the real UPLB. "No. 2" is the title of a missing LJ icon I made years ago. I was looking through my LJ archives and cleaning it up a little and that's why it came up.

Death to me is usually a huge change. The start of a new life. That's just a projection of my near immigration move.

Should I even make sense of all of this? Do I have to interpret it, like the others.

My A.D.D. Makes me Forget

The last thing I remember from my dream is struggling in the essay part of an exam. Usually, I have so many flowery words and padded paragraphs for essays. I can say I'm really good at writing essays or subjective parts of an exam. Enumarating and remembering things, that's what fails me.

The moment I opened my eyes, I've forgotten the questions -- there were three for the essay part. Actually, there were four and I remember dividing up my yellow paper unevenly because I thought there were only 3 questions.

I thought, when I wake up, I'll blog immediately about it. But unfortunately, I got distracted by the news that Arashi's Mannequin 5 is now open for online voting. For over 30 minutes, I forgot, I was supposed to write about my dream here.

FML

Mangoes in UPLB

Enrollement, going to class, skipping class, missing class ... it came again. As usual, UPLB is the setting.

Arashi was there, too. And a twit-chat with J frm Arashi fandom. But we weren't flooding Twitter about Arashi, it was actually about the Philippine political dilemma in my dream world. I could not remember the actual issue.

I should be more diligent about this dream logs. I'm starting to forget what they were because I opened my plurk the moment my laptop opened.

There were mangoes, too.