Relationships and Dependency

I remember looking at my naked self in the mirror. One breast was swollen, one nipple was bigger than the other. Surprised by the difference, I checked for more irregularity. I found a third nipple on the swollen breast. When I pinched it, milk came out, or was it pus?

I remember calling She for help. I remember her coming in and taking a look at my breast, and that the breast had sag so low it had become a lump in my belly. She pushed it, pushed it down hard, and I felt the pain that came with it. She cut my back and pushed it out.

I remember staining my top. I remember going to the river to wash it. I remember following a girl who was going to wash her clothes in the river. I remember the river was up to my waist and I borrowed a soap floating around that the other girl used. When I tried to return the soap to the other women washing the clothes, they said it wasn't theirs. No one would claim it. I let it float in the river.

I remember noticing the edge of the river rising. High tide. But it was rising fast. Rising in a hurry. I called everyone's attention and warned them to go up. I remember watching people climbing up the riverbed. I remember waving through the river to reach the bed.
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I'm growing dependent again. But, right now, I have no choice as my expenses are higher than my income. And with that comes with the feeling of debt.

That's all it means.